Incoming MLS Players With Great Names

Each year Major League Soccer signs some of the top underclassmen in college soccer to contracts before the SuperDraft. This year's crop has some serious talent, but even better, they have some of the best names to ever grace the league. Three of them have earned special awards from me:

Player most likely to moonlight in adult films: Corben Bone - midfielder from Wake Forest. The movie titles write themselves... Romancing the Bone... Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Bone... Bone Alone...

Player most resembling a Dairy Queen treat: Dilly Duka - midfielder from Rutgers. His dad Mister Misty must be very proud of him.

Player who may actually be a tropical bird: Teal Bunbury - forward from Akron. I hear his name and keep thinking he should be mentioned alongside the Norwegian Blue in this sketch: